The woman on the left is happy. Recently engaged, this photo was taken by the love of her life just down from what would be their wedding venue on the day they signed the contract, on a camera they bought as an early gift to each other in anticipation for their upcoming honeymoon. She has the world by the string. Everything is right. Everything is finally coming together. She is finally the woman she always wanted to be. And nothing can go wrong.
The woman on the right is broken. Less than two months ago she buried her husband. She is barely holding it together. In fact, she's not really holding it together at all. Her life has no purpose. No meaning. She's doing what she feels she has to, but doesn't want to be there. In fact, if anyone actually asked her, she would probably tell you that beyond the smile you see, she's actively planning a way in which to die....
And this woman on the left just is. She's not nearly as happy as in days gone by. But she's no longer broken either. Five years post-loss, she's picked up the pieces and somewhat haphazardly glued them back to together. Her road is still bumpy, but she's learned to find meaning in the little things, learned to hold onto the past and let it go simultaneously. Learned that its okay to see a future - even if she doesn't know what that future is. This woman still cries. But she laughs as well. Her definition of the perfect life is changing. Just as is her notion of who she is herself...There are eight years between the first and last picture. In those eight years, has been an entire lifetime. Or two. A gamut of emotions few can fully comprehend. And while the smile has not really changed, its probably the only thing that links the woman in the beginning to the woman in the end... So much is hidden behind the things we choose to let the world see....
So what lays ahead for this woman? Is she finally who she was destined to be? Or is there another incarnation, another opportunity to be someone new?
You never know what lays around the corner. What bump, what turn, what sign will change your course forever. Life is not a straight line, and the person you are today may not be the person you are tomorrow. There are so many things that exist, that happen, that are completely beyond our control...
I still look at that first woman, and wish I could have lived that life forever. You don't realize how lucky you are to be 100% happy, until that happiness is stripped away. I wonder how her last eight years would have played out. What her future had in store. But I also realize that everything that has happened in my life, everything positive I have done and everything I have become, would have never materialized had that woman not given way to the others. I like who I have become - most of the time, anyway. And I know that whatever happens, however many changes lay in store, the woman of my future is richer, wiser, and overall better because of every woman who has come before me.
And that when it's all said and done, and its finally time for her to take her well-deserved rest, she will be able to look back on the many versions of herself that have passed through her life,and know that she is the bestir of each and every one of them. And that she is okay...
