We've all seen images of mimes. Pushing frantically against invisible walls, trying to break out of the proverbial glass box. I'm beginning to feel a lot like those mimes do.
Trapped. In a box only I can see.
A lot of things have been drawing me back to that day as of late. A day I really haven't visited in detail in almost two years. A day I really don't want to see.
I've walked through that day in counselling. In explicit, vivid detail. A sudden death in the office place took me back as well. To a place I've been and never want to be again. Yet it seems I can't escape.
Couples walking hand in hand. Fathers Day cards lining the walls. Children running to their daddies. Roses breaking out in bloom. Books lining the bookstore shelves.
Memories. Triggers. Flashbacks. Dreams. They all draw me there. I'm running on a treadmill, getting no where fast. Like a hamster on the wheel.
Or a mime in the box.
How do you escape a box that seems to have no exit? How do you escape yourself? Your life?
My needs. My obligations. My responsibilities. They all seem to tie me down, chain my wings.
Everything is driven by what happened yesterday. My past controls my present. My present controls my future.
Tears seemingly permanently painted on my face.
My scream shatters my ear drums. Yet no one else seems to hear.
Just like the mime.....
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