I am not the same person I was the day that Kurtis died. I have come to accept that. And its not a bad thing. I have not necessarily changed for the better, or the worse. But I have changed. Things inside and outside me are different. And so I stand here today, looking around, ready to make some changes. It’s taken a long time to get to the point where I can admit that changes are necessary. Where changes are welcomed. Where changes are needed. But that is where I stand today. I have to live my life differently, for it is a different life.
I’m starting to think it is time to open my heart to the possibility of a new relationship. Not necessarily with someone else but, more importantly, with the new me. To accept where I have been, what I have become. And not worry so much about what may happen. Our future is not written in stone. I’m not really sure its written at all...
Change is scary. But its also exciting. Life is an adventure. You need to live it. Because it may be over far too soon...
Some things will never change. My love for Kurtis. My longing for a future together which will never be. I can’t change my past – our past. But I can change the future. My future. To make it a good one.
After all, I’m living for both of us now....
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