Just Another Day....

Christmas Day.  People keep reminding me that its just another day.  And they are right.

It falls on a Sunday this year.  Just like 51 other days this year. 

Its the 25th of the month.  Just like 11 other days this year.

Its a day in December.  Just like 30 other days this year.

On this day, December 25th 2011, a baby will be born.  A man will die.  There will be smiles, laughter, and yes, even tears.  Jusat like the other 364 days that surround it.  It really is just another day.

And yet its not the same.  Its the only 24 hour period that comes with a six-week buildup.  That has thousands of songs written about it.  That is advertised nonstop.  That is a multi-million dollar commercial enterprise.  That has the expectation of perfection.  It evokes strong emotions.  It brings out the best in people, yes... but also brings out the worst in many.  December 25 may be just another day - but it is a unique one. 

So how do I feel as this day draws to a close?  Honestly, much like I feel on any other day.  Just maybe a little bit more.  I saw this not so ordinary ordinary day unfold in the eyes of a child.  Laughter.  Excitement.  Anticipation.  And I did so alone.  The only other person to whom Gavin means as much as myself was not standing beside me.  Was he here?  Perhaps.  Could he see it?  I hope so.  But that veil which keeps our worlds apart stood firm, and I could not see or feel him. 

He should have been beside me, on this day - just like the other 364 days this year.  And so while I am happy for what I have, I shed a silent tear as the day draws to a close for what I am missing - just like the other 364 days this year.

I've said it before.  I love him.  I miss him.  And I wish I could have shared today with him.  I should have been able to share today with him.  And he with us.  Just like the other 364 days this year. 

Maybe Christmas isn't all that different from every other day after all.....