God willing, I will watch the seasons change, and the years go by. He will not. I will watch our son grow, to become the man his daddy wanted him to be. He will not. I will cry many more tears. Smile many more smiles. Laugh. Sigh. Speak. Breathe.
He will not.
When we pledged our vows, we intended to grow old together. Watch the years unfold as they are supposed to. Instead, I will grow old without him. Its not the way I want things to be. Not the way we planned things to be. Not the way things are supposed to be. But with time I'm coming to understand it is simply the way it is...
Birthday celebrations mark the passage of time. Another year on this earth. Another trip around the sun. So how do you celebrate the birthday of someone who is no longer here? They do not get older. There is no extra candle to mark another year. Yet you cannot erase a birthday. Alive or not, today still marks the day he was born. And gives reason to celebrate the years he lived. Only 35 of them.
All 35 of them.
Not nearly enough. But enough to make a difference. He touched many lives...
Tonite Gavin and I will blow out a single candle. Commemorating not a year, but a life. A life we love. A life we celebrate. And a life we remember.
Happy Birthday, Kurtis.
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